On march 22 at 6:45 just like normal my alarm went off and i got ready for school. I don't remember if i walked with anybody or not... all i remember was that everything was wet from the storm we had the previous night. i got to school and everybody was talking about this old farm that burnt down. i though nothing of it. then one of my best friends (there were five of us) came up to me and said we have to talk. she told me that my friends house had burnt down but all i said was no it was just some old barn and went on to my normal classes. by second period i was worried my friend Cheyenne wasn't at school.

Then the principle came in and asked to talk to me. well i was used to that it was no big deal. he took me not into his office but the side room for when people have to talk. he preceding in telling me about rumors and things like that then he said to me "Hayley i just got off the phone with the fire chief... he confirmed that early this morning Cheyenne's house burnt down. we lost her and both of her little sisters, I'm sorry." i immediately collapsed and started balling my eyes out. and repeating "but i just played a game with her yesterday in study hall.....". then i remember being in the library with lots of teachers and counselor's and most of the kids in my grade (8th). boxes and boxes of Kleenex were gone through that day and many days to follow.

This all happened on a Thursday.and that Thursday i had an ortho. apt. some ladies were in there talking about the fire and just normal gossip. once again i started balling and it was all i could do not to scream at the ladies. they wanted to know where the parents were. i knew. their mom was at work. she works grade shift. and their father (father figure) was out of town planning his fathers funeral. people just didn't understand. I went to see the house after that there was nothing left. i took a balloon and flowers the girls' favorite colors pink purple and blue. on Friday i was the only one out of out little group of friends to show up at school. i was devastated and went back home almost immediately. the next week and a half we had spring break which was especially hard because there was the viewing and the funeral. Cheyenne was the only one of the three girls with an open casket. her sister were burnt too extensively for open ones. i later found out that Cheyenne made it out still living while her sisters were pronounced dead on the scene.

 

How I cope with Grief

Cheyenne made it to the hospital where she later died. for many weeks after everybody you saw in the halls was crying or sad. but there was the few who said "get over it all ready" which didn't help any only made it worse. it has now been almost a year (10 months) since they passes away. i miss Cheyenne every day and still cry myself to sleep most nights. but i know in my heart that she is happy because it would have been harder if she had lived while her sisters perished. I've written poetry and I've made songs. even tried to draw. it all helps me to remember. I've also combined all the picture that all of us ,the little group and everybody else, had into a picture album. there were many made one was given to her mother and father (father figure) at one of many benefits for them. and others were just circulated for all to see. mine is kept at home on it's own shelf with the candle for her and a folder with everything involving the incident. my best strategies for coping with grief with is that i am training to be a fire fighter/EMT so that i can prevent what happened to Cheyenne and her sister from happening again... or at least i can try.